Overcoming Heartbreak

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It’s so easy for unwanted circumstances in life to visit us, and tear us down when we least expect it. It hurts even more to know that what comes to tear us down, comes from the ones we love and trust the most. I truly believe that’s why the term is called heartbreak. It comes from those who we have allowed to become merely apart of us, to those whom we have shared with our deepest secrets, those where we have opened our doors and welcomed them into our inner homes, not knowing that they would rob us and leave us with almost nothing besides their disaster to clean up. And although they robbed us and left with our belongings; somehow every memory, conversation, aroma, of that person has been stained and embedded within our homes. Every ounce of pain and hurt they caused, we began to swallow like it was our medicine. They came in, and placed an “I own you” sign in our front yards, and how dare they do that. But we allowed them, and we couldn’t remove the signs, because we weren’t ready to own ourselves and be free. So, the heart break kept us in captivity.

Many of us claim to be freed from heartbreak, and that it has taught us all of the lessons in the world and to never go back to what tore us down. Truthfully, for many of us, all heartbreak has taught us is to embed ourselves in fear for the rest of our lives. To never trust a soul again, to build walls, bricks, and doors over ourselves, to hurt others because we have been hurt, and to walk around with a painted face that screams, “I’ve got trust issues! No one is welcome here.” I’m not saying, we’re not going to have a guard up, of course we are! We’ve been hurt. But after being torn, many of us, shred ourselves even more, by turning over into the mindset that everything and everyone is out to hurt us, and that we can’t be free because of this. That we will never truly be satisfied and experience a healthy, bountiful, loving, relationship in our lives. When God is our guard, we are secure. But when we make man our guard, we become fragile, unstable, and insecure. What has hurt us, if left unattended, it begins to weigh on our actions, and our relationships, and we begin to hurt others, and those others begin to hurt others. The pain becomes a cycle. So how can we truly overcome heartbreak?

       Forgive all those that hurt you and forgive yourself

How can we learn from heartbreak? First, we must forgive that person, and we must forgive ourselves. We must stop returning to the place of what could’ve been done better, and what could’ve been done different. In order to begin to move on, we must accept what has happened. Accepting what has happened, doesn’t mean that what happened was acceptable. By acknowledging what has happened, and not just burying it in our hearts, we prepare our wounds to heal. You must refuse to cover the thorn in your flesh, with a bandage, and prepare to take the thorn out so that you can heal.

     Understand that it takes time

We live in a world now, where everything requires a quick fix or a quick response. We expect for our loved ones to text us back no later than 5 minutes or it’s a problem, we expect fast food, fast internet, fast ways to make money, and fast cars. Everything is losing patience, along with ourselves. We want a quick fix to our heart break, and if we don’t receive it, we convince ourselves that we don’t deserve to be healed, and we take ourselves on constant guilt trips. The truth is, everyone’s healing process is different, but they all take time and consistency.

   Be proud of yourself and your progress

Start to keep track of your progress, and be proud of yourself for it. Of course, there will be days where you fall, but understand that you have the power to get back up, and that a fall will not stop you from reaching victory. Seek after godly counseling and much prayer. Start walking into your freedom, and let every word you speak, and every step you take, become a chain breaker. Speak love into others, share gratitude, and continue to believe in yourself. Have faith in your healing, God wants you to be made whole again and free. He’s with you every step of the way.

  Prepare yourself for Resistance

Whenever you are trying to better yourself and grow, you will be met by resistance. Resistance will be the force that comes to you in the form of people, situations, and negative circumstances. Resistance is the force that pulls you into giving up, it’s the same thoughts that convince you that you will never be free, and so on. Change your mindset to, “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to reach where God wants me. To reach my healing. If the enemy is fighting me so hard for it, then this must be for me.” Fight the good fight of faith.

    Joy comes in the morning

I believe in you and I believe that you can overcome this. Actually, I KNOW that you can overcome this. While writing this, I have been praying for you. I have dealt with being broken hearted in my life, and I can remember the excruciating pain that it brought me mentally and physically. These were just some steps that I took to overcome heartbreak, and I hope that they helped you. Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for more blog posts weekly.

“They that sow in tears, shall reap in joy.” — Psalms 126:5

“See now, that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.”                  Deuteronomy 32:39 

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